Author Rambles: Part 2

Back again!

Real time commentary again lol…

  • “thoughts: now and after” – still makes me sad. My legacy is something that I ponder daily – whether or not it is best to have one, and what type I will or want to leave behind.
  • isn’t a caricature a bad thing? or maybe a good thing that exaggerates your bad features?
  • “thunder and lightning personified” – one of my favorite imagery poems that I’ve done… but, then again, I have a lot of “favorites” that I know aren’t necessarily good but hold close to my heart
  • “memories” – inspired by Maroon 5, definitely. Ah… memories are definitely bittersweet.
  • When I look back at poems, like “rainy day dreary”, I wonder where I get these metaphors and references from. From songs? From books? From movies? Random websites?
  • “we, together” is wayyy too idealistic for my taste.
  • “fog” – it can be a beautiful but heavy thing.
  • “rainy thoughts” – I remember writing this. It just rained, and I was walking outside in the backyard in the chilly cold typing a rough draft of this in my notes app on my phone while listening to melancholy music (I don’t remember what it was)
  • Also… do songs with beautiful harmonies make you sad? Because, for me, it does…
  • “liar” – I was going through a rough patch with so-called “friends” those few days… but now I realize that haiku also applies to different situations… which makes me sad, as I’m listening to a happy-but-makes-me-melancholy bgm
  • “contemplating life but mostly just wishing” – I wrote this sitting at a table in the backyard in almost silence, listening to the wind – at that moment, I really felt that the world is vast and I am nothing.
  • Writing this before I go to school so please forgive me if some of this sounds… messy?
  • “nostalgia” – definitely just finished watching Bon Voyage 4.
  • “what can i ever be” makes me sad. Also… there are wayyyyyy too many commas.
  • “rant of the mad queen” – omg… lol… never coming back to this phase again… was either listening to NF or “Daechwita”
  • Sorry not sorry? Reading this before school is a blast lol… I’m pumped up for my day.
  • “alone” – wow… that’s quite a different mood from the posts above it.
  • Also, I get so mad when people try to make December be a colorful month. It’s not a colorful month. Leave it alone. I like its grey, white, blue, and all the melancholy shades of colors.
  • “queen” – one of my favorite rhyming poems I’ve ever written. I wrote this to the thunder and lightning outside on either a Tuesday or Thursday night (because soccer practice was cancelled last minute that night)… and to the beat of “Daechwita”
  • “wolf in sheep skin” – I was going through some stuff with my friends (or so-called “friends”). That’s the product.
  • “stages of winter to spring” – I like this… kind of… I like the metaphor, the different style I tried… I’m sure some things can be cleaned up, but I respect it (though I don’t remember writing it).
  • The sun glare on my computer screen is… UGH.
  • “silver instead of gold” – makes me sad. When people want you to be something you are not.
  • “older” – pretty optimistic… It’s something I still definitely believe in, so I’m trying to appreciate all the beautiful moments now instead of being left with regret in the future.
  • Trying to figure out how I wrote all these poems day after day… then realized I was at home doing online school which was easy. Now, I’m at school, and my brain is spent.
  • “burnt-out” – aka… those who are greedy don’t get the gold.
  • I know this post is way less fun and light-hearted like the previous “Author Ramble”, but, in the morning, I tend to be more serious. In the afternoon, I tend to be more hysterical.
  • What’s the difference between a firecracker and a firework?
  • Yesterday, my friend sent a picture of me to a friend he was texting, and she (that friend who he was texting) said, “Tell her I said hi! She’s cute and pretty.”… I turned red under my mask. I don’t know how to reply to compliments… So I’m telling you about it here.
  • “fighter” – It’s okay to give up sometimes though.
  • “reassurances” – who knew one word could have five syllables? I wasn’t sufficiently awed by that until now.
  • Also… do you believe in horoscopes?
  • “passing of spring” – I despise summer.
  • I keep writing posts, as I keep going back to categorize the old ones… so much work.
  • “mother’s journey” – apparently I know how a mother feels? Empathy, it’s called empathy, Jess! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It just sounds ridiculous right now, if you know what I mean. No, I don’t know what you mean.
  • “opposite directions” – oof… when people grow apart.
  • There’s nowhere to go but up! See if you can find which post this is from hehe.
  • “light and shadow” – this doesn’t only apply to singing as well… although I have no idea where I got this idea about singing from…
  • “i am love (爱)” – probably another one of those that I really treasure… mostly because I like the word-play, as the Chinese word for love sounds like “I” in English… so the title is “I am I”, as well as “I am love (爱)”.
  • I’ve gotten a lot better at adding grammar into poetry… It seems that I always thought only commas existed in poems.
  • “ephemeral” – my favorite word, along with melancholy
  • “forgotten, beaten, ignored” – I wrote this when I was angry and upset… and, unfortunately, it is still a poem that I can understand/empathize with.
  • “motivation for the frozen” – I needed to read that right now… my motivation is… down the drain.
  • Also, I hate taking photos. Our school wants us to take club photos, and I desperately don’t want to do them. But I probably will have to.
  • “feel nothing.” – found a grammar/vocab mistake.
  • “childhood” – This makes me feel so sad. I do wish I was a child. I still prefer The Little Prince over The Alchemist. (unpopular opinion, yes, I know.)
  • What was your Spotify unwrapped? I’m too embarrassed to say mine right now, but my listening stats for the artist that was at the top of my list was in the top 0.1%… :/
  • “nightmares” – I wrote this on the way back from soccer practice because I was inspired by the way the trees looked in the night.
  • Some of my past poems I find wayyy too optimistic. I don’t know if it was because I was in a good mood that day or if my beliefs/personality have really changed that much, but, when I look back on these posts, I want to gag.
  • For some reason, I made a lot of posts private? I don’t remember why.
  • “Bene-man” makes me gag. Please, please, please, past Jess, please don’t do this next time, even if you find yourself in a really really good mood. You do know you’ll probably do something like this in the future again, right? You’re right. But that doesn’t it make it less cringey. Please don’t flame me… I’m delicate. You’re the opposite of delicate.
  • There is a lack of punctuation is so many of my poems that I’m finding it extremely irritating and questioning if I, the grammar police, actually wrote them.
  • The moon makes me sad.
  • “hiraeth” – I forgot what hiraeth meant. Oops. Had to look it up. It means wistfulness (a melancholy wistfulness.)
  • Realized that I should add excerpts to my old posts… maybe I’ll add it at the end, once I’m done with categorizing stuff, to the posts that I stick at the top of the blog.
  • Reading one of my posts and… “dear reader?” Who do I think I am? Oscar Wilde? Charlotte Bronte?
  • “temptress” – No idea where this was inspired from. I’m even confused myself.
  • “papillion” – definitely inspired by Jackson Wang.

I’m going to stop the author commentary here… both because it’s taking wayyyy too long to edit my posts and because finals are coming up at school 🙂

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