to save myself

my arms are tired,
shoulders weary,
my mouth barely moves –
smiles take too much energy.

darkness threatens to overtake,
spill from my veins onto the ground,
like squid ink,
squid ink of darkest night.

i’m drowning
d
r
o
w
n
i
n
g,

scattering into the wind.

it is with my last words,
epitaph on my grave reads
“too tired to live or die”,

breaths are scarce,
my breaths are used to help others,
give my oxygen to those who have oxygen,
give my life to those who need a life.

to save myself,
i can hardly pick myself up,
my arms are given to my friends,
my shoulders given to little babes,
my legs given as cushions on couches,
my eyes given as sweet jewels to family,
my smile given away to the lost…

to save myself,
i bequeath myself back to myself,
for myself:
my legs my arms my shoulders my eyes my smile,
my final will
selfishly for myself.

selfish is my redeeming trait.

to save myself
is to live for myself.

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