my body, my soul

they tell me not to eat,
“you’re too fat”,
so i don’t eat,
“you’re too skinny”,
and i cry.

they tell me to get muscle
working out was never my style,
yet my dumbbells are here,
my arms straining
not for the dumbbells,
for my books.

i have been trying to ignore them.

i have been trying to ignore them.

i can’t stop the wave of fear
when i see the scale.
when my weight goes up,
or goes down.

my friends play baseball, football, or soccer,
they don’t read like me.
i close my books when i talk to them,
throw on my cleats.

pretty blonde girls with their lithe bodies,
fat girl with too much to lose,
and i dream
of a day where i can be beautiful.

boys who can be normal, boys who play,
charming handsome boys who don’t worry about physics
or homework,
and i dream
of a day where i can be normal.

i try to be normal,
i try to be beautiful,
and all i am left with
are shards of my soul
painting the bathroom ground.

i try to be normal,
i try to be athletic,
and all i am left with
are shards of my sould
painting the emerald green grass.

4 thoughts on “my body, my soul

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: