my body in the mirror
speaks of only disgust and anger.
too fat, too skinny,
my body is nothing.
why is my hair so wrong?
it’s too curly, too straight, too wavy
it won’t stay in place,
it’s ugly compared to hers.
makeup won’t hide my acne or my scars
nor how my eyes are tilted at the edges
or how my nose is too flat and my lips too small,
nothing like hers at all.
my mother always told me that was beautiful,
but isn’t that what a mother is supposed to say?
my friends always told me that i looked fine,
how do i know they’re not lying anyways?
i find in my body too many imperfections
and flaws for me to count.
i feel that there is nothing good in me left,
but my heart tells me to hang on.
society tells me to wear skinny jeans and tight clothing
i feel almost naked.
makeup nearly strips my skin bare
i feel sick.
how can i look beautiful when i know i look ugly?
how can i bear to look at myself
when they can hardly look at me?
how can i try to be happy when i feel alone?
i am nothing,
just an invisible girl floating through the chaos
of life, and nothing to anchor